Celebrating Black Father's

With Father’s Day here, I wanted my first entry to be both a reflection on my 5 years as a dad, and a celebration of the fathers that are in my life as family and friends...

My wife never ceases to remind me of the fact when she informed me that I was going to be a Father for the first time, my reaction was...let’s just say...less than joyful. I wasn’t upset or angry, but I had a sort of scared anxiety about Fatherhood. Scared for the unknown, and anxious about whether I’d be good at it. Despite the numerous examples of positive fathers I had in my life at the time, from my own Father to my Uncles, nothing really prepared me for being a dad. It is truly a “learn as you go” responsibility.

You get no argument from me that being a Mother is the hardest job there is. It is physically and emotionally draining, stressful, and frustrating a lot of the times. I argue that being a good Father carries the same load. As a dad, I too, get kids ready for church, take kids to church, make sure kids go to Sunday school, make sure kids stay quiet in church (to no avail sometimes), get kids ready for school, take kids to school, pick kids up from school, do homework, cook dinner, make sure they wash their hands before eating, make sure they say their grace before eating, make sure they eat their vegetables (despite the tremendous push back I receive), make sure they brush their teeth before bed, wash them up, put pajamas on them, read them a book, and make sure they say their prayers before going to sleep. Then, I lay beside them for “100 seconds” as I’m often asked to do. Then I go to sleep, wake up, and do it all over again.

I know, I know...I sounds like the dude Chris Rock was referring to when he said “[dudes] always want credit for some [stuff] they supposed to do....’I take care of my kids!!’” You know what though...Father’s Day is here...and I do want my credit!!

Father’s in the black community have been discredited for so long, that I think those of us that are doing what we are “supposed to do” should be celebrated and talked about more often.

When I look at the women in my circle that are my age (30 somethings) with kids, I see many more examples of those with good Fathers around for their kids, than those without. These dads have teenagers, pre-teens, toddlers, new borns, special needs kids, all girls, all boys, both...they are PTA presidents, sports coaches, and spiritual leaders. My Fatherly peers are the true representatives of Fathers in the black community, and are the examples that we need to celebrate.

As a dad, there is nothing more fulfilling than..having your child run to you when they are scared...counting on you to make them feel better when they are sick...finding your shoulder to be more comfortable a resting place while being held, than the softness of the pillows on their own beds....having your child say “Daddy, I can say my prayers all by myself” because they’ve paid attention...or just out of the blue saying “Daddy, I love you.”

So, this Father’s Day, I want to continue being engulfed in the responsibilities and activities that I enjoy as a “Daddy.” Happy Father’s Day to all of the positive, black Fathers...those young in age, and those young at heart.